To me he was larger than life. I think I could honestly say, I was scared of him even though I knew he loved me and it took me a long time to open up to him. One of the few memories I had growing up in Bristol - of him and my uncle Pete – was when I guess I was about 7 or 8 I think, they must have been looking after me and my sister, as our folks were busy working in a Chinese takeaway – next thing I knew there was a lit cigarette in my hand – and I put it to my mouth – I don’t remember if I ever took a puff – but I must have, as smoking has never attracted me at all! There was photographic evidence of this, but I think it’s lost now, but to me it’s a treasured memory!
Uncle Paul was always around – he moved around lots whilst working as we never really went to his house – he never had one, so we would always go to Milton Keynes at my Uncle Pete’s place. Uncle Paul would always be there if he could – driving his lovely performance car. He loved his cars. I remember the XR3i the most I think, as I do remember him taking us home from the shop sometimes – there was a stretch of quiet road on the drive home, he would tap the accelerator and zoom along REALLY fast!, needless to say, we got home in record time.
Then when Chris and I moved to the south east, it was much easier to visit both my uncles – so I was able to go up to Milton Keynes to see uncle Pete and his family, and I was able to go to Harpenden to try out uncle Paul's recommendations on thai cuisine and later the best fish and chips in Sandy!
For me, I managed to spend a good 8 months this year with him, whether it was just the timing (going on in my life), but I will always treasure those moments, he would get sick of me and wondered when I was going home within the first few days of arriving. He was so funny – we’d joke and be serious, but always talked about food, he would bring up Youtube videos on his big TV of street food market stalls in Hong Kong and then we would search videos on Korea, Japan, Singapore, Vietnam and Malaysia. We both loved sitting there watching all those yummy foods and imagine the smells and taste wafting through to our senses. We even started watching videos of this lady in china who would eat literally anything… no need to expand into detail here. He showed me videos of guys catching fresh fish and shellfish like crab and lobsters – even one that went rock-hunting for seafood – under lots of big boulders, with only a slight crack to grab your catch – all during whilst the tide was out!
He loved cooking and it was great to see him get his appetite back after months being on chemotherapy. He couldn’t wait to get fresh fruit and veg into his tummy – food which was not allowed during his treatment. Cherries, strawberries even salads he missed!! He would fondly remember his mother’s cooking and say, how much he missed that food – she was a great cook, he’d say, and he would always have a go at recreating those recipes, by calling up his sisters to remind him how to do this or how to do that.
He would tell me stories of what it was like working in London restaurants, they all ate like kings it sounded like especially back then. He would remember bringing home tubs of freshly cooked lobster meat and noodles that would have gone to waste, "midnight feasts" with his workmates he would say! Oh – every few days he’d go visit the local oriental store to stock up supplies, but would buy packs of mochi (8 little doughy dumplings with sweet lotus paste inside) – “midnight treats” with a wink too.
He was a perfectionist – one time, I had to cut his hair with a clipper, the amount of times I went over the same patch was exasperating! He’d say, “go over it again” or “you missed a bit” or “nope still missed it”. But it was fun to spend time with him.
He loved his god-daughter Chloe, it made him so happy to have her in his life – there were many stories he told me about when Chloe was a baby, or when Chloe was only 2 years old, or when Chloe was 4 or 5. He treasured all those memories.
He loved his sports – mainly football, though I still could not tell you which team he supported. He would watch any match in any country on any channel, imagine that – two English teams playing on home turf, being watched in another country on a different channel. He would know which channel to get this on and happily spend his time watching these matches… oh and it didn’t matter what time of day it was on – it would go into the early hours if needed. I remember he told me recently – watching the Olympics in Japan – he managed a marathon of up to 5am to watch all the events happening, sleep for a few hours before getting up and heading off to the hospital for his weekly treatments. And of course – Formula 1 – a passion of his. This passion spewed out on his love for model kit cars, building and assembling and then being able to play with them, fine tuning all the time. His other passion also included model boats – he told me once, with his uni friend, they both went to Southampton/Brighton – to play with a remote-control boat that he had recently built then, unfortunately as it was being passed back and forth to each other in the sea… a big wave came in and took it out to sea…. No longer to be seen again.
And he loved bargain-hunting, we would talk sometimes and he’d tell me of his bargains from the local supermarkets or farmers markets like “oh the oranges… sooo cheap” or “fresh and in season fruit – get them before they go” or “half-price items… bargain” and "I've bought extra for you...." It was endless!
He was a no-nonsense type of uncle, would not take any rubbish, so I would find him grumpy sometimes – but his heart was so big and generous, it would be difficult to fight him for anything he asked for, including the bill.
I will miss him, but I know he will be at peace and no longer suffering.